Yes, stereotypical stuff, you age and you write down what you wish you had known when you were younger. Pointless exercise, really, except that you’re hoping it’ll help someone else. Even though you know it probably won’t because when you were younger you did read advice of this sort, which always involved “not worry so much” as a useless item somewhere on the bullet list and you didn’t apply any of the advice anyway because you were overwhelmed. No, what I needed was practical stuff that I could actually do. Action, not sitting still, was twenty years old me. Not meditation, or mindfulness or breathing exercises. Something really practical. Well, here goes, the most practical advice I have for my younger self.
Cold showers
Seriously. Cold showers. When you’re stressed, or anxious or tense.
However, don’t overdo. The point is to find relaxation from a little “oooh brrr ahahaha omg that’s cold”. Not go into overdrive, block out all sensation and push yourself into hypothermia, no no. A hot shower followed by methodically, slowly pointing the shower head at your feet, legs, knees, then belly, all the way upward to your head and down your back again, but pause in between if needed.
Food
- No dairy, gluten, soy
- No sugars or sweeteners. No dextrose or maltodextrine or whatever
- No vegetable oils. Cook in olive oil or tallow
- If it has more than one ingredient, it’s not food. Except maybe when it’s a can of tomato puree plus salt.
- If a four year old can’t draw a picture of it, it’s not food. Chicken, salmon, egg, potato, all fine. Citric acid, well, maybe, you can draw a citrus fruit. Ascorbic acid? Nope. Don’t care if that’s the chemical name for vitamin C, go eat a red bell pepper instead.
- Go carnivore for three years. Seriously. It’ll do wonders for you. Then, switch to carnivore by day, keto at the dinner table.
You’ll be stressed about switching your diet, exclaiming “What am I supposed to eat now????”. You’ll get through it and find a new optimum.
Condoms
The pill is negatively affecting you. That PMS you have every month, consisting of an anxiety spike and an “oh no am I pregnant I’m pregnant I’m not pregnant am I?” is your body coming out of a three week chemically induced pregnancy and every cell in your body screaming that this chemical is horrible. IUD, patches, implant, forget it, it all fucks with your mental health and let’s face it you’ve got the cards stacked against you with where you come from and all. Sit your boyfriend down and ask him if he can please, without hesitation, every time, put on a condom. Despite your childhood you pick good men. (You have the dog to thank for that, I’m sure. He was the reliable man of the house.) Just ask him.
You’re terrified of getting pregnant, the world is too unsafe, I know. So it’s likely that you’ll demand control and certainty. I just wish you had understood the signal from your body. But then again, you were put on the pill at 17, so you never really had a chance to get to know your femininity… Be kind to yourself, it’s not your fault. Everybody’s the product of their generation. One individual against a whole society? You couldn’t have known.
Dream diary
Not forever, just for a while. Your programming wants you miserable, but your true self is underneath. Your subconscious knows and talks in symbols. Also, figure out how tarot cards work. But maybe you’re just supposed to not understand them until you’ve had your big crisis wake up call.
That’s all I can think of right now.